So this came up in a conversation between a friend and I and I thought maybe I should share my thoughts, considering the mindblowingly low amount of confidence and self esteem a lot of people on this site seem to have.

There are those who are naturally born to be loud and outgoing, and tackle life with outstanding gusto and confidence that commonly exists hand in hand with their amazingly high self esteem. 

But as ideal as this sounds, it can also be equally as damaging.

You know that guy. He waits until he’s got every bit of attention there is to grab, and then, out of his mouth, he let’s loose something so soul-crushingly stupid you want to tackle him to the ground and suffocate him so he can escape his own embarrassment.

And there he is.

Beaming with pride.

This is what I would categorize as empty confidence. 

He put absolutely no thought into what he said, and yet he was so excited to share his idea with the world simply because he trusts himself to say something smart.

But confidence is earned.

Regardless of how outgoing or anxious you are, when someone can stand in front of a crowd and voice their thoughts with confidence and passion, it’s because they put the thought and research into it. As my history teacher would put it, they “own the idea”. 

They are so familiar with the topic of conversation that they can express it as if they were doing something as simple as counting to 10. They’ve thought about their argument’s strengths and weaknesses and tweaked and perfected it into a strong, solid point.

When you really own your idea to such an extent, it no longer becomes a matter of how outgoing you are.

So if you’re feeling too tentative to voice your thoughts, think about why it is!